


rewind; backspace; continue

by JByungHee



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Basically just Chenle being insecure, Brothers AU, Chenle is on Junior High School, Chenle think too much for a eleven years old boy, Coming of age sort of??, Gen, Highschool!Mark, Hurt and comfort, I don't know I just need MarkLe stuff, Insecurities, Mark and Chenle is half brother, Mark is a good brother, Mark is gentle, MarkLe being best brother in the world, fluff??, markhyuck, mention of Yang Hongseok, reassurance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-02
Updated: 2018-10-02
Packaged: 2019-07-23 19:35:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16165547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JByungHee/pseuds/JByungHee
Summary: "The pain of reality is the signI only have regret in my heartI want to cry because you’re not here" -- Off Road - Pentagon--Mark is graduating highschool this year and had planned to move away from home to attend college. And Zhong Chenle realizes he doesn't want his brother to move away.





	rewind; backspace; continue

**Author's Note:**

> OOOKKKAAAYYY SO I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT MARKLE IS SUPERIOR SHIP (romance aside) AND I JUST NEED TO WRITE SOME FOR THEM BECAUSE?? HELLO?? HOW COULD YOU NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH THEIR CUTEST BROTHER RELATIONSHIP? 
> 
> Okay, hit me up at @Lilunar_Moon to talk ABOUT MARKLE, please, I need friend.

 

***

 

 

The breeze that tickles his nape kinda tells him that autumn will be there soon, replacing hot-humid air that use to linger around them as the summer passes. And it also makes the boy with curly dirty blond hair, whose had himself seated on the ground, that the night is coming. It was unusual for Chenle to stay at the school until this late, not when he usually the first to go home because his home needs a long hour drive and Chenle ain’t gonna wasting his time fooling around as much as he wants to spend time with Jeongin, only to came home right when the dinner ends. But here he now, sitting in front of his school’s gate, head dipped lowly to his hug.

 

He wasn’t actually abandoned, usually his mom would picked him up and drove him home. But today their house was vacant as both of his parents were out of town, and the picking up job are being thrown to his one and only brother: Mark Lee.

 

He almost lowly curse the sole entity of his brother when he sees the light shone from the corner of the road and he quickly alter his vision to catch a glimpse of red car pulling closer carefully towards him. And after few second, the said car stops in front of him, Chenle stares as the window rolls down and his brother’s head popped. “You’re going home or not?”

 

Chenle clicked his tongue loudly, visibily telling Mark that whatever happened that makes him late to pick his own brother, annoys him that he decides he’ll just sit on the backseat instead of shotgun seat he usually takes. This notifying the ravenet to not ask further, seeing sour creeps on the blond’s face, he’d just chuckle them away. Chenle had always been a moody person, and considering the fact they will arrived as soon as seven or eight. The younger boy throws his bag across the couch in a loud thud, and sits behind Mark so the boy wouldn’t able to glare at him from the rear mirror.

 

“Sour face,” Mark mocks before he starts focusing on the road again, leaving Chenle staring outside the window at the view of continuously changing scenery—beautiful one, blinks of light, blobs of car lights racing with each other and with his, it was apparently he could catch but it’s enough to be distraction. The ride was quiet, Mark have his habit of not turning the radio as it distracts him a lot, and Chenle had forgotten his earphone at home, so silence befriend them for a while, until Mark hums and Chenle blinks lazily, sleep fortunately taken most of him after long day of school.

 

“Are you hungry? Mom not gonna home until tomorrow so we better buy something for dinner.”

 

“I know,” he interrupted, rewinding the scene of his mother and father saying goodbye with delightful expression as they repeat initerary they had on hand to each other. “I know.”

 

Mark sighs, adjust the rear mirror for him and hope he able to catch glimpse of Chenle’s expression. “Don’t get all mad at me, baby boy,” he coos, and Chenle finds that witty, having his brother babying him almost every day but in the same time expect him to think like an adult. It was something impossible for Chenle, he’d always and maybe always be loud and reckless, and he doesn’t want Mark to tell him repeatedly.

 

“Where were you?” Chenle managed to ask, hand findding with hem of his blazer and he peeks from behind to find Mark’s ear twitch slightly.

 

“I was—” he stops, abruptly, and continue after mumblings things to himself. “You know, working on stuffs, with Lucas.”

 

“Liar.” desperation befell on the younger’s face. Mark’s gap of answering tell everything he doesn’t know.

 

“Okay, I am… gosh, from—IKEA, with Donghyuck. I have to drive him home first, don’t tell mom, she’ll whoop my ass.”

 

The younger boy keeps silent, mind wanders to outside view, or anything that would distract his mind. From the thought that Mark had himself busy with IKEA stuffs, thing that should be adult’s problem because, _d’uh_ , both of them are wild juvenile that had their night filled with Mario Karts and boxes of popcorns, laughter and scary stories. No one should think about how much a bed cost and which rug match the shower, or which toaster goes best with the rest of cabinets. His night and Mark’s are 9PM McDonalds and no more. Or so he thoughts.

 

Mark is graduating this year, and Chenle wants the concept to just vanished just like red blinks that flickers down across the road.

 

The night rolls slowly, like his thought, and low hum of Mark from the driver seat.

 

 

 

 

 

\-------------

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chenle room is used to be his and Mark’s, they share room until Mark think bunk bed for two tall boys with gangly limbs would be disadvantage in many ways, evenmore with the fact Chenle likes to sleep on the lower bunk and left Mark have to climb his way every night and morning. So, Mark moved to the room next to his, with interconnecting door that basically never closed for almost the entire time, leaving both of them used to each other’s presence. The younger boy had himself tucked under thick, rocket-printed, duvet that Mark got on his tenth birthday, and Chenle thinks it was looking better on his bed so it stays since then. He can hear Mark lowly hums the beat of Coldplay song, while he working on more papers and maybe reccomendation letter, or just browsing which room to rent. The white noises buzzez on his mind while he trying to drift away to sleep.

 

Unless sleep doesn’t come that easily for him.

 

Mark is going to move away from home very soon. It’s easy for him to say that he chose the farthest college because it’s also Donghyuck’s choice and it got good accrediation for the major he’s looking forward, and altough Chenle despise the idea of his brother moving far away, he can’t find the gut inside him to protests. Because Mark’s face lighted up when he talks about his future plan of renting room with his boyfriend, and have been busy with all those kinds of stuffs, leaving Chenle wonders if he really that eager to leave home, leaving him behind?

 

The thought come like what sleep doesn’t to him. So, he kicks the duvet out of his way, hugging pillow tight to his chest when he proceeds his way to the open connecting door, eyeing Mark’s fiture where he sat on his desk’s chair, as Chenle expected, he was working on some papers. Mark notice his brother’s presence and swing the chair to face him, his face tranquil and gaze gentle at Chenle’s agitated movement.

 

“Something’s wrong?”

 

He throws his glance to the side, to where Mark’s guitar leans silently, or pile of dirty clothes inside the bin besides it. “Yeah, can I—sleep here?” he pauses for a moment, watching his own shadow falls and dancing in the subtlest way when Mark’s window’s curtain blows from the outside wind.

 

Mark finds the question to be adorable and he couldn’t suppress his chuckles, in which caught the younger’s attention. “Come here.” He pats on the bed, and Chenle realizes he threw on new sheet even after the last one only a week, it was Mark’s weird habit and Chenle just… knew. He knew too much for his liking, and he can’t stop himself from doing so. He has been Mark’s brother since his first step, in the same house, in the same room where now Mark turned everything to his eighteen years old safe haven.

 

“So, baby boy is scared? Does the teacher pull chuky three on the class again?” he laughed alongside Chenle’s little step to his bed, the latter decide to shurgs it off and throw himself to the bed, to his favorite side where he could watch Mark doing his work while he drifts to sleep. Mark’s presence has always, and maybe will be the only one, that comforts him the most.

 

“I’m not scared, I just… ya know, hyung, it doesn’t matter.” He rolls to other side, back facing Mark. The ravenet lets out a chuckle as he ruffles Chenle’s blond lock.

 

“You know you can’t always be scared of those things, I won’t always be here.”

 

He knew, and Chenle wants Mark to just shut up.

 

 

 

 

 

\-------------

 

 

 

 

 

His father was Mark’s father and his mother was his, they met at the beach party where Mark’s father throws extravagant party to ease his broken heart, and they have been together ever since. Chenle born under the name of Zhong because his mother is so proud of her name and decide to not change it at all, Mark’s father doesn’t care as long as they now resolve as a functional family. And Mark has always been Lee, Mark Lee, Chenle’s first friend ever.

 

Their bond came in a form of rebellious ideas and Chenle’s claps of approval, Mark’s first midnight rendezvous after he manage to pass his driving exam, or summer runaway where they visit Mark’s grandmother by their own—only to earn scold and punishment for the rest of the summer (and thankfully their grandmother was kind enough to just let them stay there for the rest of the summer and helps her on the field. ‘Boys will always be boys’, and Chenle thought, she must be right).

 

But now Mark spent more time with Donghyuck as both of them grew closer, they met at highschool and highschool sweetheart have been their title for the prom this year. And it is the big step for them to finally live together, Mark can’t hide his excitement the day their parents both approve the idea.

 

“Oh, Chenle, baby,” Donghyuck’s voice echoes on the living room when Chenle enters the house that day, his mother follows and ignore the paper scattered on the floor as she enters her room and shuts the door close, leaving him with Donghyuck on the couch’s living room. He scoots closer, eyes studying the paper on the coffee table and besides him.

 

“Hi hyung,” Chenle smiles awkwardly, eventhough it’s been two years since Mark brought Donghyuck to their house and the brunet practically stole everyone’s heart, he found there are times where Donghyuck just feel so—intimidating. Donghyuck radiates sunny vibe, and altough Chenle just the same, the universe thought it wouldn’t be good for two sun exist beside each other. He doesn’t hate Donghyuck, for the love of god that man is pure, his laughs reverbrate on the house, reaching corners that Chenle’s laugh can’t. He drops his bag on the end of the couch and sits beside him, took one paper to study further. It was college form and there’s two set of it, for Mark and Hyuck.

 

“How’s school?” Donghyuck asked. Chenle hums before he put the form back to the coffe table, atop all brochure and printed out pages mess.

 

“Great, school’s great, the friends are great, the homework are also—great,” he replied bashfully, it’s the second semester and to be honest he needs help with school’s work, being a freshman in Junior High School isn’t as easy as it sounds, and Chenle wishes he could get his nap time back.

 

“You know you can ask me anything, I will gladly help you.” Donghyuck ruffles Chenle’s curly hair. “Or Mark, that guy actually has a brain if he tried hard enough.”

 

Chenle laughs, Donghyuck has always been witty, and that what makes Mark drawn to him like Chenle does. None on their family had the audacity to do that, maybe except Chenle and his high-pitched laughs, but that’s practically everything.

 

Mark emerges to the living room with two mugs of steaming cocoa and was smiling delightfully seeing both of his dearest person. Chenle alter his attention to the ravenet, smiles dropped slowly and he throws his glance again to the scattered paper, Mark catch it and he looks unhappy, nudge the younger’s shoulder with warm mug and Chenle had to look at him again. “Here,” he passes the cup to Chenle and Hyuck (forgetting he was actually made those for him and Hyuck, but seeing Chenle’s face just now, how could he turn blind on those sad expression?). Mark sit on the floor beside Chenle, took the younger’s hand on his own as he starts busying himself again with the papers, chatting endlessly with Donghyuck about what else they need to send back to completing the files they needed. Chenle lost within himself, half of him hearing words and other hearing his own thoughts, in which both of it slurred into one mass lump of darkness.

 

Mark’s hand squeezing light and he jerked into his senses. And Mark shows him two apartement brochure.

 

“Which one do you think? This one has nice view and the other have swimming pool,” the ravenet smiles cheekily and Chenle tilts his head to the question. He doesn’t have anything to do with anything related to Mark’s moving and yet, this brother of his still managed to include him in.

 

“I… don’t know, why do you ask me?”

 

“ _Huh_ , because this one has swimming pool and you like swimming pool, that means we can go swimming when you went to visit,”

 

It rips his heart more than a word should be. “Swimming pool would be nice.”

 

 

 

 

\-------------

 

 

 

 

Swimming pool were Chenle’s first memory of Mark.

 

As much as he would be delighted to recount the memory, cold breeze of autumn prevents the idea. He used to be shitty at swimming, and Mark taught him well for him to able at least float on the water and not drowning like a rock. He would like to swim again, the last summer was filled with family trip and countless dinner with acquintance and so little time for themselves. And when Chenle realizes, autumn is here for them to feel and summer passes just like a dream.

 

He stood in front of Jisung’s house on one pretty-chill Sunday, waiting for his friend to open the damn door. Jeongin did after a few minutes and loud thud of his footstep, face bright with his braces-teethy smiles greet Chenle and his sour face.

 

“You got it? The soda?”

 

“Well, hello a person who doesn’t live here,” Chenle nudge the boy from the door frame and he saw Jisung’s orange lock popped from the couch on the living room. “I got it, it’s the last stock so pay me twice.” He drops himself to the couch in between Jisung’s gangly limbs that sprawled on his own couch, Jisung had himself busy with his 3ds and decide to not put any attention to Jeongin’s whine.

 

“So, why suddenly agree to come here?” Jeongin pops the soda open as he plops down to the bean bag chair across both boys, Chenle shrugs, usually weekend is the time where he could get some quality time and maybe plays Super Mario Bros all day with Mark, but he hasn’t done any of it since Mark busy with his stuffs.

 

“Dunno, there’s nothing I could do back at home. My parents have bussiness party to attend,” he let his words incomplete as he reaches for the tv’s remote and change it quicly to Animax, or anything that could distract both boy’s attention from the vagueness inside Chenle’s words. Jeongin seems unfazed by the sudden scream from the tv and he continue watching Chenle’s expression shift uncomfortably.

 

“And Mark hyung?”

 

“Mark hyung… well, _guess it_ , his boyfriend’s house? I don’t know,” Chenle shruged it off, and Jisung found telltale of desperateness on his friend’s that he finally pushes his 3ds away from his attention and plops out the lollipop from his mouth to talk.

 

“You two fighting?”

 

Chenle shook his head silently. “No, we’re good,” he hums, snatching one lollipop from the coffee table and ignores how Jisung yells at him with muffled sounds. He rips the cover and stuffs it on his mouth, to just prevents him from saying unnecessary words, Jeongin scoffs away and alter his attention to the tv which airing another re run of Bleach.

 

“This thing was endless,” he wails on the floor, chugging on his soda. “Call your brother to drive us to mall please,” he tilted his head back to the sight of unperturbed blond boy, still trying to act tough.

 

“I said he’s out of bussiness, he’s on Donghyuck hyung’s house. Why wouldn’t you ask Hongseok hyung?” There’s nothing much to do for three eleven years old boys (two, as Jisung still unamazed by his two friend’s boredom and busy with his console), but Chenle thought it was better than sitting on his house all day until dinner or maybe until his mother just calls him that they couldn’t make it to dinner and that she actually left some money for Chenle on the counter (well, Chenle had figured out the money first and that’s how he gets here, with bus, an eleven years old doesn’t usually granted with generous amount of pocket money). Jeongin slowly sliding from his bean bag chair to the floor, deflated like beach ball under scorching hot of summer. “He can’t, have something to work on,”

 

Chenle crack a knowing smile to his bestfriend. “College shit, yeah?” Jeongin had complaint about all things his brother did as a college student all over again, like accidentally waking him in the middle of the night when he tried to make coffee for his tire soul and accidentally knocks over the blender (poor blender), or another time when Hongseok hyung nearly forgot to pick Jeongin up from school and left the ravenet stranded in front of their school. Even after all of those, Hongseok hyung still lives in the same house with him, as his college just a neighbour away.

 

It was something that Chenle probably would experience if Mark did not have his college miles away from home, he might do that to Donghyuck future on their flat—forget to pick Donghyuck up, or forgot to bring their keys, or maybe knocks bowl and create mess in the middle of the night.

 

Altough without being a college student, Mark has already did all those stuffs. And Chenle would missed it.

 

Probably.

 

_(Surely.)_

 

Jisung speaks up after a while, getting tired of his colorful pokemon and virtual matches so he snatches the remote off Chenle’s hand. “I’m getting tired of Bleach, let’s just watch Insidious,”

 

Jeongin laughs from the place he sprawled on the carpet. “You know Chenle can’t watch those stuffs, he’ll seek refuge on Mark hyung’s room tonight.”

 

Chenle throws couch pillow to his friend’s head, earning giggles from Jisung and surprised yelp from Jeongin.

 

“I am not. I won’t get scared.”

 

_(He did, but he sleep alone that night.)_

 

 

 

 

 

\-------------

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Why don’t you just… I don’t know, go and live your life with Donghyuck?!”

 

He wasn’t intended to snap.

 

But again, everything has to came to a conclusion, and his was that if Mark was going to threw his presence away from his life, he might as well do the same. It was a petty fight where Mark couldn’t attend their family dinner at the restaurant tonight because he has to go to Donghyuck’s house, and Chenle had enough of the excuse. Mark uses it again and again, said that there’s only little time left for them to completing the files or he has to make sure everything is set and ready, and it been a while since Chenle saw his own brother on his room. It was always Donghyuck, college, not him, never him. Chenle wasn’t the type of boy who will throw a tantrum over petty reason, he might whine and plead but he never—even once, raised his voice to anyone.

 

Tonight, was the peak for himself.

 

“Don’t raise your voice to your brother, Zhong Chenle!” His mother step forward, but Mark silently told her to not.

 

“It’s okay,” Mark answer silently, the voice as calm as the night and it reminds Chenle of how stupid he is for yelling. How childish of him. He shudders, fighting back tears that ready to burst, his heart aches and Mark’s calm voices ease nothing. Chenle exits the room in a rush, leaving both of their parents and Mark on the living room as the blond boy enters his room and slamming the door behind him, a silent message for anyone to not reach his room for good. He found himself curling on the corner of his bed, trapped between two cold blue painted walls and no warmth to hug, except himself, and his knees tucked tight to his body.

 

Chenle shouldn’t have been petty, Jeongin told him that it’s okay for him to miss his brother, but it eventually must perish—both of them should grow up and though he didn’t like it, Mark wasn’t gonna be there forever. Chenle wishes that they shouldn’t have to, you know, grow up, doing adult boring stuff, attending shitty college and being stressed over papers. He wishes his night would another 9pm McDonalds and Mark’s laughs over pickles and mustard on Chenle’s nose.

 

And if he could, he would. But in the end, he’ll just recount the memories on his head.

 

There’s faint knock on the door and Chenle keep still. His heart thundering inside his ribcage, it enough to make music alongside his cries, and Chenle should’ve known Mark wouldn’t buy any of Chenle’s childish stuff. Mark open the door and his glance darted right away to the sight of his younger brother, he scoots closer and sit besides him, Chenle’s sobs emanates throughout the room.

 

“Lele,” and that’s the ever so gentle voice he hates so much (because how could you not be comfortable when he calls you with that tone? No, you have to be. Chenle knew, he knew too much, he doesn’t want to). “Baby boy.”

 

He’s eleven, and Mark’s habit of calling him baby boy hasn’t died, yet.

 

(He wishes it wouldn’t.)

 

“Hey, I’m sorry if I… distant… you know, abandoning you,” Mark plead, hand rubbing circle on Chenle nape. At this rate he would cry louder, because it was never Mark’s fault at the first place, Chenle knew all too well that Mark just saw bigger opportunity in front of his eyes and he have to make advantage of it. Mark’s life would be bigger than their little neighborhood, bigger than hour long ride to school and back again. And while Mark’s life expands to the size of world maps, Chenle’s would stay small, because he can’t—he’s afraid to take step outside, not without Mark’s hand on his. Hell, Mark’s world could be as big as America and Chenle would be there waiting for Mark to bring him along. (He’s the baby boy, always).

 

Mark doesn’t abandon him, he knew. But he nods along with Mark’s word.

 

“Chenle, you know how much I’d love to stay here with you but—”

 

“—it’s okay hyung, I know I’m selfish.”

 

Mark gave him second to continue but Chenle doesn’t have anything to say. Until Mark’s body move closer, and hugging the younger boy tightly, that’s when Chenle jerked, Mark hugging him like he never leaves before (he never but Chenle thought he did). It aids nothing to his cries as he sobs louder, muffled cries on Mark’s red-white flannel jacket, hand around his knees now clinging hard on Mark’s shirt and he doesn’t want to let go. Mark swallows cries down his throat and he wish that he could do the same to Chenle’s. For him, until now, Chenle still part of his world, and he have no intention to erase him how much they have been grown, but apparently, he just did, unconciously.

 

“You’re not selfish, Lele,” Mark disperse their parent’s concern and send them off to dinner just before, so he could take his moment with his brother and just two of them. He continues again, in the same whisper he did just now. “Please, I want to talk, can you look at me.”

 

Chenle doesn’t find the bravery in his heart to do so, he’s afraid of any judgement that might comes out. But judgement was something oblivious for Mark, has he always been the sweetest boy, Chenle peeks through his bang, eyes meeting obsidian that carefully watching him.

 

Mark take a sharp breath. “I’m not going anywhere, Le, I would still be your brother.” Mark cups on his cheek and he was smiling brightly, telling the darkness and storm to go away from Chenle’s heart, it put sunshine back on Chenle’s heart. Bit by bit.

 

But sunshine won’t penetrate the cave he was currently hiding in, so he’s back avoiding Mark’s eyes. “But, hyung, you’re still going to move away.” Mark’s sun would eventually be Donghyuck and he was the setting sun on the distance. The thought is heavy for an eleven years old boy and Chenle doesn’t know why he exhaust himself to think about such thought. Mark pulls his face again, in the same time another tear rolls down his face.

 

“I am, and it change nothing. You can call me almost every night, I will be home at summer, winter breaks, autumn breaks, it’s only three hours drive. I would drive home and brought big mac for you at twelve, and we could still watch Avenger together. We could still swim every summer, even, we have new place because my apartement have both gorgeous view and swimming pool, you always love swimming pool.”

 

Mark’s words were shaky, and Chenle knows the boy must have been fighting the tears back inside him. “I would still call you to tell you I just saw a cute mastiff and send you memes, don’t you go sad shit over me, Lele,” Mark laughs, and it lit smiles on Chenle’s face. He swats Mark’s hand on his face, rubbing his tears-streaked eyes with his long sleeves.

 

“Suck, you’re the worst brother ever, hyung,” ( _‘You’re the best brother ever’_ , Mark understand.)

 

Their bond comes in a form of midnight rendezvous, so Mark doesn’t give him kisses that much. He did now, kiss on the tip of Chenle’s nose, just enough to give him reassurance. “I’m just afraid you’ll forget me, you know, you have been always my only friend. I admire you, hyung, and I don’t know… have I been a good brother to you, and now you’re leaving and… maybe it’s just me but… I’m—I’m afraid.” Chenle reply, his insecurities be damned because he was talking to Mark, and Mark has always been his comfort.

 

“Hey hey,” Mark pats on the younger’s cheek. “Even when I’m on the off road, you will always be the best brother I could hope for. You will be good, we did this a lot together, and I won’t leave you until you say you’re okay.”

 

Chenle nods albeit weakly. “I’m okay, Lele will be okay.”

 

 

 

 

\-------------

 

 

 

 

 

He will be okay, he promised Mark he will be okay.

 

Mark’s depature set today, in the cold morning where the sun has set but the chill still makes them snatch their jacket and scarfs. Mark’s red car ready on the driveway and its trunk filled with stuffs, Mark’s stuffs, Donghyuck’s also. Chenle hangs out on their porch, hand relishing warm from the mug steaming with hot tea on while he heard Mark and Hyuck repeats all the thing they need to make sure everything on board. Their mother and father are on the living room, busy with god-knows-what and it leaves Chenle staring at the empty road.

 

“Chenle, we’re going soon,” Donghyuck grab the younger’s attention and Chenle gazing at him, at his bright smile which makes Chenle smiles too. He nods his head. “Hu uh, do you guys have your stuffs neat?” He scoots closer, eyeing boxes and bags to small stuffs scatered on the passenger seat. Mark hums, closing his phone and put it on his jeans before turning to his brother.

 

“Yeah, we’re good. See you soon, Lele,” Mark kiss his temple, Donghyuck follows, on both of his cheek with wet eskimo kisses. Chenle giggles, nearly drops his tea but fortunately didn’t. “Donghyuck hyung, stop,” he squirms under Donghyuck’s attacking lips, and before them, Mark watching in awe.

 

_Beautiful._

 

“Don’t be naughty, don’t make eomma stressed, don’t eat too many ice creams, don’t sneaks away to McDonalds at night, call Appa if you’re gonna sleep at Jisung or Jeongin’s house.” Mark continues again, Chenle blows his cheek in disapproval. Mark always have his way babying Chenle, and that’s just how their relationship works. The baby boy and his brother.

 

“I am not naughty.” (he is, but he won’t since Mark won’t be there to save his ass anymore). “I’m a good kid.”

 

“I _will_ be a good kid,” he corrects, earning elbow from his boyfriend.

 

“Sssh, let him live, you’re just the same.”

 

Donghyuck slid to the shotgun seats where it was always Chenle’s favorite seat, but now the backseat filled with snacks and he didn’t mind snatching all of it away for him when they go driving late at night—later, when college break starts and Mark drive three hours long back to home, when Mark will take him to places, maybe now with Donghyuck (it has to be with Donghyuck, Chenle demands). Chenle wave a small hand to the brunet and his brother take a last glance to him.

 

“Call me if something’s happened, like—your homework, I will gladly help.”

 

Chenle snorts. “Help? I don’t want to hear that from a future-stressed college student.” It earns him headlock where his tea spilled to his jackets and Chenle yelps a little.

 

Mark is laughing, he too. Donghyuck snickers away from inside the car.

 

 

 

 

 

 

\-------------

 

 

 

 

 

Mark is gone, not far away, it’s only three hours drive from home and Chenle could still feel his brother presence there—in his vacant room where everything slowly disappears but not Mark and especially not their memory. The bed is no longer covered with blue sheet, Mark thought it will be nice on his new room so he brings them along, Mark decide to bring his guitar too, leaving patch of dust on the carpet on his room where it have been sitting quietly for quite some time. And Chenle thought, this is the best way he could hope for, for both of them to grow up on their own way.

 

He will always be there, and he gladly calls him in the middle of the night when he couldn’t sleep, hearing Mark’s frustated sighs and rants about task and maybe about how stubborn Donghyuck-hyung was.

 

The connecting door stares at him in a silent judgement, it has been opened since the first time they split room, never to be closed, to remind them about each other’s presence.

 

He walked across the door, to his own room, to his blue-painted room.

 

The door shuts closed, for the first time.

 

 

 

 

 

_You fell down, it’s alright, I’ll pick you up_

_Did you worry a lot?_

_No no no, it’s your first time_

_That’s ok, everyone does that_

_That’s how it is, even adults made mistakes_

_Practiced and grew when they were our age_

_There are still so many firsts for us_

_It’s alright, we just need to go through it and grow, don’t cry_

_– Grow Up – Stray Kids_


End file.
